Our buyers just backed out. My husband so beyond mad he's saying forget the whole thing. No Colorado. No heart finding. No adventure. No snow. Nada. God, why is this happening. Is it really just life or are you saying No? Is this fighting for our dream, is this something bigger than us not wanting us to follow our hearts or are You saying this isnt it. I'm crying so hard I'm having to retype b.c I'm not even making sense. Is this where our dream dies?
I get it. I get why people don't follow their hearts. Because it hurts too bad. Life has a way of smacking you down over and over until you just lay there instead of trying to stand back up and fight. You know that saying, "nothing easy is worth fighting for?" I guess this is it. It sure as heck isn't easy. What does our future look like? Will we ever sell this house?
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
It Just Got Real
As I'm filling out the change of address form on the usps website. What the heck are we doing? Are we nuts? Crazy? We got an offer on our house that we accepted (even though we are losing a ton on this one) and the inspection is tomorrow. Hopefully if that goes well than we can feel like that part is really happening. In the mean time, I'm boxing up everything we are taking with us in the UHaul next week. It's getting real. I'm scared. Scared of the change. But when I think about it, we are renting an apartment, if we hate it we can move back. There's nothing that says we can't. We aren't tied down there yet either. I'm just so nervous. My parents still aren't impressed which has put a damper on the excitement for sure.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Boat Rocking
T Minus 3 weeks until we pack up our house and head to Colorado and I can't help but think in the dead of the night, "are we crazy?" Who does this? Is this a bad idea? Should we just be "happy" with what we've got and just forget about chasing our dreams? Or what we think is our dream? It's in the nighttime that the doubts start to creep up. Daylight has a way of banishing those scary thoughts. Are we doing the right thing? My parents aren't impressed we're moving. But you know what's sad? I've been here 14 years, husband has been here 18 years and there isn't any going away party for us. Nobody is going to miss us. How pathetic is that? I can't believe that's how we are meant to live life. Alone. Relationshipless (yes. that's a word). Friendless. That's a word.
Fellow dream chasers... how do you banish the doubting thoughts? Or do you listen to them? Are you one of the millions who has a dream in their heart but never pursues it because life gets in the way? It's so much easier to just stick with status quo. Don't rock the boat. Nobody move. Everything is awesome. Life couldn't be better. Or could it?
Fellow dream chasers... how do you banish the doubting thoughts? Or do you listen to them? Are you one of the millions who has a dream in their heart but never pursues it because life gets in the way? It's so much easier to just stick with status quo. Don't rock the boat. Nobody move. Everything is awesome. Life couldn't be better. Or could it?
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Dream Killers R Us
Who, me? No, You. Wait huh?
Have you ever had someone be a dream killer in your life? Have you ever poo pooed someone else's dream? I have only one son but I would hope when he grows up that I wouldn't be a dream killer in his life. But apparently I already am. See my mother told me that "just because my Dad may be encouraging my husband to follow his dreams that we are killing (or did she say destroying) his." Nice huh.
Let's just say I held my tongue but inside I was seething. The man has lived well into his 60's. He had a chance to follow his dreams. It's my turn. And come on. We're a 3 hour plane ride away it's not like anyone is sick, dying or moving out of the country. Talk about dramatic, Mother.
But still... it makes me not want to spend time with her before we go because if she keeps throwing out these heart darts do I really want to sit around and listen to that? No. I want to be excited. I want to tell them about how I found a lacrosse team for Will and spent 20 minutes talking on the phone to his future cub scout leader and how I found the best indoor hockey rink for him to learn how to play ice hockey. But dream killers suck the life out of you. Dream Killers are just that. Killers. So I don't share. And they miss out. I am hoping I don't have to call my Mother out if she continues to play the martyr. Time will tell because before she had said she wanted to fly out for our son's first day of first grade. If I ask her if she's going to come and she says no I will know where we stand. And I will have to fight. I'm having deja vu over my husband's Mother and that ain't good folks. Not good at all.
Have you ever had someone be a dream killer in your life? Have you ever poo pooed someone else's dream? I have only one son but I would hope when he grows up that I wouldn't be a dream killer in his life. But apparently I already am. See my mother told me that "just because my Dad may be encouraging my husband to follow his dreams that we are killing (or did she say destroying) his." Nice huh.
Let's just say I held my tongue but inside I was seething. The man has lived well into his 60's. He had a chance to follow his dreams. It's my turn. And come on. We're a 3 hour plane ride away it's not like anyone is sick, dying or moving out of the country. Talk about dramatic, Mother.
But still... it makes me not want to spend time with her before we go because if she keeps throwing out these heart darts do I really want to sit around and listen to that? No. I want to be excited. I want to tell them about how I found a lacrosse team for Will and spent 20 minutes talking on the phone to his future cub scout leader and how I found the best indoor hockey rink for him to learn how to play ice hockey. But dream killers suck the life out of you. Dream Killers are just that. Killers. So I don't share. And they miss out. I am hoping I don't have to call my Mother out if she continues to play the martyr. Time will tell because before she had said she wanted to fly out for our son's first day of first grade. If I ask her if she's going to come and she says no I will know where we stand. And I will have to fight. I'm having deja vu over my husband's Mother and that ain't good folks. Not good at all.
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